A smile is so infectious that it can light up a complete stranger’s day producing a warm and genuine smile allows people to feel you are open and friendly. Strangely enough, even when we’re talking on the phone, our smile comes through in our voices it actually has the power to change our own demeanour in addition to our environment.
Remember a person’s name, that is so important to them
Most people attach a huge level of importance to their name, it is a part of their identity often since birth. Remembering and using their name is a great way to make the person feel important and valued to you.
Conversely, forgetting or misspelling someone’s name can have the opposite effect and make it feel as though we are distant and disinterested in them.
Listen to understand and encourage others to share
A person who asks the questions is the person in control. What this means is, you can learn and understand another person, to react to what they say and how they say it, the ability to lead the conversation and enable them to feel important and valued.
So if you learn to listen with the intent to understand instead of looking to respond, you’ll find people tend to be far more relaxed around you.
If a shop assistant interrupts and irritates customers, they are more likely to start arguments and bring complaints to the store manager. But a clerk who is willing to listen could calm even a customer who storms in already angry. Try being mad at someone, who is just ready to listen to you… you’d have to be extremely pissed.
Talk in terms of their interest
People are interested predominantly in themselves and their own lives. They love to talk about themselves and the things they enjoy.
If you can figure out what those things are by asking questions, you open the door to build rapport with those people.
Make them feel important
How often do we notice someone who looks very down, or bored – perhaps someone whose job is very repetitive or someone whose boss doesn’t give him or her much recognition? Maybe it’s a shop-assistant, a mailman or a barber. What could we say to that person to cheer them up?
We could think of something about them that we honestly admire. This might sometimes be difficult for a stranger, but we should push ourselves to think of something and mention it to them.
This ultimately opens the door for them to feel valued, important and funnily enough they will appreciate you because of that. Give first, and you will not be in lack.